When Is the Right Time to Say ¨I Love You¨?

30.01.2023

Good for you if you wonder when to say ¨I love you¨ for the first time. It means that you take your relationships seriously and are mindful of them. But when is it okay to say ¨I love you¨? When do people say ¨I love you¨? Let´s find the answers to these questions in this guide.

According to Kelly Gonsales, the amount of time before saying ¨I love you¨ depends on what people mean by the term ¨love¨. For example, love might mean just feelings and ¨butterflies in their stomach¨ for some people while others believe that love is a serious decision that should not be based on feelings only. 

Research has shown that most men think that it is the right time to say ¨I love you¨ after 3 months of dating while girls tend to wait for 5 months to get this feeling of infatuation. Which of them is closer to the truth and when is it too early to say ¨I love you¨?

Signs when is it appropriate to say ¨I love you¨:

Sign 1. You cannot take these feelings anymore.

The first sign when to say ¨I love you¨ in a relationship is when you feel all those butterflies in your stomach mentioned above. It seems like they are ready to get out of your stomach and be exposed. Before they do it, you would better slow down for a while and say these words to your partner. There is no need to think too much about when is it normal to say ¨I love you¨ if you already feel the love. Just express it and let your partner be aware of what you feel inside.

Sign 2. These words are at the tip of your tongue.

Do not stop yourself when your feelings are ready to burst out and the words are about to be said. There is never the right time when is a good time to say ¨ I love you¨, but trust your gut and express what is going on in your head and heart. When you feel this is the ideal moment to say it, then, you should say it. The sign when can I say I love you is when your words are already well-thought. You guess that your partner feels the same about you and have been both thinking about it many times. 

Sign 3. You know each other very well.

So if you have been good friends for a long time, why would you wonder when men say ¨I love you¨ if you do not feel this way? Of course, you will feel love for your friend. Maybe, it would be just the love called ¨Phileo¨ which is a Greek word that denotes love for a friend. Maybe, this love is the one that will boost and get more powerful to become ¨Eros¨ which is a Greek word to denote sexual love. Being good friends for a long time means that you have passed the test of holding the relationship for a long time and had many wonderful experiences and memories together. So you may feel love for each other. No need to ask when to say ¨I love you¨ to your boyfriend if you feel this way and are in a friendship with him. 

Sign 4. You like your partner with their strengths and weaknesses.

The next sign when should you say ¨I love you¨ to your girlfriend is when you know each other so well and tested your relationship many times that your drawbacks do not scare you. You just accept your partner along with their flaws. You should not think too much about when is the right time to say ¨I love you¨ if you have such a relationship. Just trust your heart and open it up to him or her. Make them know that you accept them with their strengths and weaknesses. 

Sign 5. You have dated for some period of time.

It would be great to date for some time with your partner as a boyfriend and girlfriend before you confess. Then, you will know exactly when is it right to say ¨I love you¨. Before you make up your mind about the future with this or that person, you would better spend some quality time with him or her. Only when you see each other in different situations and in various conditions, you will know for sure when they are the one for you and when is it a good time to say ¨I love you¨. YESDates is the ideal time to start your relationships and test them. 

Sign 6. It is time to decide whether to move on with your partner.

So you have dated him or her and you need to decide what should you do next with them, right? Of course, if you managed to stay with him or her for a long time and your love only has grown since you found each other, it means that this is real love and, maybe, it is time to say it out loud. Stop hesitating how to know when to say ¨I love you¨ and make brave actions. Show her that you are not afraid to take the responsibility for your further steps with her and you want to keep this feeling. 

Sign 7. You have the same vision of your future. 

If you asked her or him what they think about their future and whether they see you there together with them and their answer was ¨Yes¨, then, this is a sign when most people say ¨I love you¨. This is the turning point when all the relationships transform from lovers to a couple. Also, if you have similar goals, plans, motives, and intentions as well as morals to your partner´s, you should say it to them. This is when most couples say ¨I love you¨. 

What if my partner will not say it back to me?

According to Brown-James, if your partner does not say the same to you when you reveal your heart, it might hurt, but it does not mean that your relationship is over. Sometimes, you will need to wait for some time to have emotional intimacy. In other words, the feelings of your partner must grow over time and you must wait until they are ready and mature to confess. So instead of guessing when people usually say ¨I love you¨, you would better listen to your heart, trust your gut, and be able to read the emotions of your partner. 

Do not push him or her to say it to you, but nurture and feed the feelings of your partner. Let them get ready and become more intense and stronger. Your girlfriend or boyfriend does not have to feel intimidated by you and what you feel. Let go and watch what it will end up with. 

Does it matter who says it first?

Guessing when is it too early to say ¨I love you¨ or who should tell it first, you should keep in mind that there is no such term as ¨ideal time¨ to say it or ¨ideal person¨ to express it first. It is all a matter of feeling and understanding your feelings. Your heart is the one to lead your brain in love relationships. In other words, when your brain catches up with your heart if it comes to your relationships and love affairs, we guess this is when is it time to say ¨I love you¨. True love is a mature feeling and more like a decision that go hand-in-hand. Feelings and logic are like two wings of the bird named ¨Love¨. So wait until these two wings grow equally and beautifully. 

It does not matter who says it first. It might be a girl or a guy. However, most girls expect a guy to be a leader in a relationship and say it to them first. We guess it is rather more natural for a man to say it first because he seems to be responsible for the future couple more and cares more. Females are not weaker, but they are more fragile. Therefore, would rather wait for someone strong to say these words to embrace them with their love and let them open up faster. 

Here is when they knew it was a relationship when to say ¨I love you¨:

1. ¨I knew exactly that that moment was the one to show my love and tell her that I love her. She meant so much to me that I could not remain silent. I just said that to her and felt something pleasant and warm inside of my heart when I did it. So no regrets, despite the fact she treated me as if she did not understand what has just happened.¨ - Khalid, 18.
2. ¨It seemed like all the butterflies in my stomach were about to fly away from my mouth, so I did not let them go without saying a word. I said it to her and it was so natural to do it. She told me that she loved me too and we are still together. I am so happy that I was brave enough to share what I felt inside.¨ - Tom, 31. 
3. ¨I was wondering when should I say I love you to my girlfriend and then I realized that I was losing her. She felt like I do not care and suddenly and unexpectedly for me, she decided to move to another city. That was my time to act. I told her that I loved her and she said the same to me and changed her mind to relocate. I could not imagine what could have happened if I didn´t tell it to her then. ¨ - Chris, 25.
4. ¨It is weird, but I said it to my boyfriend first. He was shocked for a moment but then after a couple of seconds, he said that he loves me too. Now we are not together, but I never regretted that I confessed to him that way. Now, we are friends with him, but not more than that.¨ - Lisa, 23.
5. ¨My case was different because I told her that I loved her and proposed to her on the same day. She was very emotional about that. However, we managed to check our feelings long before I revealed them to her, and revealed them back to me. It was obvious that we are meant for each other. Our relationship was based on our faith, not only just physical attraction.¨ - Gordon, 41. 

Final thoughts 

Good for you if you want to please your partner and wonder when is it time to say ¨I love you¨. Most people just say it without thinking and actually caring about their partners. All they want and mean by these words is sex. If you are not a man or woman like that and are looking for more in your relationships, then, we hope this article did help you. 

To sum up, stop looking for the ideal moment and wondering when is it okay to say ¨I love you¨ in a relationship and say it. It might be unexpected for your partner as well as for you sometimes, but you should be brave enough to do it. To tell the truth, telling that must be natural for you and you should not push yourself to do it. It is okay when your partner does not say it back to you at the very moment you do that. Just be patient and wait until your feelings get reciprocated. 

Do not hesitate to register on YESDates to find your love. Remember that you should wait for some time to make sure you both really love each other. Good luck and have a wonderful time dating via our astonishing dating platform!