Important Red Flags in Dating and Early Relationships with Women

29.01.2020

In relationships, it is very important to be on the same vibe, have similar plans for life with your partner, and at least partially share similar hobbies and level of intelligence. Of course, love is always the most important condition, but sometimes even the strongest attachment is not enough. How to determine that a particular person is not quite who you need based on dating red flags for guys?

Giving these tips, we do not urge you to immediately break up relationships with your loved one if something goes wrong, but we offer to listen to your feelings and determine whether you are ready to put up with the fact that something will not go according to plan. Ideal relationships are extremely rare, and if the red flags before dating we mention still do not scare you away, your happiness is only in your hands.

Paying Attention to Dating Red Flag Is Important

Psychologists advise every time you just think about a relationship or meet a woman who makes your heart beats faster, honestly answer yourself the question, “What do you really want from her?” There can be many options, starting with a light dizzying love affair for a couple of weeks or a beautiful intellectual flirt or thoughtless original sex to a trivial family with a lot of offspring.

By the way, the very ability to conduct a dialogue, answer your questions, hear and listen to them, as well as talk about yourself in time and place, can say a lot about a woman. That is why to find a single girl is not enough for a stable relationship. On the very first date, you should ask questions and know dating red flags to look for in a woman not to miss anything that can ruin your union soon.

If you as a person are able to tolerate and agree in principle to unpleasant things, you will get used to any circumstances. You will be able to adapt to the partner and adapt her for yourself. If a person is not able to do this, being touchy and vindictive, then over the years, such a man will become more difficult to adapt and will not tolerate the shortcomings of his woman. Therefore, irritability will only grow over the years! Patience will not appear out of anywhere. If you are such kind of a person, then living with a person that doesn’t quite match you will not work. You can attract young ladies, but ignoring red flags for dating a woman, you will not build a happy family life with any of them.

If you know that you own such a trait as a lack of tolerance for other people's shortcomings, try to think that you are not perfect either or master some ingenious breathing technique. If you manage not to break in the first five minutes, then, as a rule, it turns out that you were angry because of some nonsense.

Dangers of Ignoring Red Flags in Relationships with Women

The consequences of an unsuccessful romance haunt us all our lives. We meet an interesting woman and constantly compare her with our previous lover. In the morning, we recall how good it was to bask in the weekend with another woman in bed. We walk with our next partner in the park and look sadly at the cafe where we first kissed or had a date. We are sad and cry at night in the pillow, not realizing that the end of a relationship is an opportunity to meet a woman of dreams, and not the end of life. Because we entered into the wrong relationships, maybe even toxic, ignored early red flags in dating and were left so hurt.

Very often a man understands that the relationship is doomed but still enters it. He understands that a loved one does not want to start a family and have children. She is happy with everything in the current relationship. Or their attitudes diverse in other topics, but he cannot imagine life without her. Why is it so difficult to make the right decision? Maybe the answer lies in ignoring red flags in relationships when dating?

Trust issues in future relationships

If the same story is repeated various times, parting happens according to the same scenario, the relationship does not stick together, it can happen because you have trust issues and transfer your past experience onto the new person. So, it's time to sort it out. The standard situation: many males start relationships with a specific type of woman, as their mom, ex or crush. Initially, you are firmly convinced that the matter is in total bad luck, in the unsuccessful generation of women, in short, in anything, but not in you. The secret is simple and disappointing: the matter is in you, and if you really want to change, you should start with yourself. Get rid of the negativity no matter how hurt you were in the past. It is time to move on and genuinely believe that there are women who do not want to fool you. They do not even know what went wrong in your past relationships. It was your problem that you stayed with someone who was not your match, and the consequences are quite logical. Now you think all women are the same. So, to avoid such a situation, you should have paid attention to what are red flags in dating.

Painful breakup

The psychology of the termination of relationships shows that a breakup occurs long before parting with a loved one. It means if you are with the wrong person because you tried to ignore the fact that you were not made for each other, you understand that the breakup is inevitable long before it happens. But this doesn’t make it less painful. She didn’t say something, didn’t do or, on the contrary, did. All these last straws are small breakers who gradually come together. But among them, there is usually one: scandal, quarrel, or, conversely, silent insult, hidden action or inaction, cheating (small or large, it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t have gradation), which serves as the real reason why people part. The consequences of a breakup:

• resentment accumulated on the partner,
• unspoken allegations,
• unshed tears,
• the feeling of loneliness and insecurities,
• loss of familiar communication and a state of inner emptiness,
• the arising desire to get even, to take revenge, to do evil.

And with such a load of unsuccessful relationships, a man steps into a new relationship. But this is a time bomb, which will explode at the slightest trouble!

Disappointment in women

We meet people to receive something, give something, learn something, teach something. Often in the process of relationships, it turns out that a person is not ready for this. After parting, we have a banal sense of understatement in our hearts. Prefer to delve into past relationships to cause yourself additional suffering? Learn to love yourself first! Leave the mental wound alone, then it will heal faster. Switch your attention to other activities: make repairs in the apartment, buy a fitness subscription, come up with an interesting hobby, start reading a long list of references and meet friends more often. Over time, you will forget about how you cried because of conflicts and open before other people. Only then it means that you have recovered from the misconception that you will be hurt again, and all women are the same.

Wrong perception of normal relationships

If you have ignored red flags in dating a woman, you will not be happy in this relationship. You enter them knowing that something may go wrong, and when it does, you end up suffering from the trauma that can take years to heal. It can lead you to hate other happy people or suspect everyone in trying to assault you. It means when you meet someone who really respects you and takes care of you, you will only notice their shortcomings, blame them for what they did not do, emphasize their bad sides to prove the mindset you had. It would be a mistake to assume that the world will sparkle with new colors as soon as you start dating someone. This circuit does not work. Relationships are just what complements your happiness. You cannot enter it, being "empty" because the other person with whom you've decided to connect your life for a short or long term also wants to get some emotions from you and believe me, this is by no means discouragement. Harmony in relationships appears when you treat the person apart from what you went through in the past. Treat your partner like a completely new person and soberly assess whether their actions are so bad, or it is just you that think so.

Red Flags in Relationships with Women

These are some signs that hint on why you should better stay away from a person. If two or more points from the list can be applied to your potential partner, then do not waste your time on what will inevitably fail. Here are 7 dating red flags.

Her ex is your best friend or brother

You should never date a girl if she was in a relationship with your best friend or brother before. If you do this, you risk losing a friendship or ruining your relationship with your family due to the embarrassing situation. Why do you need extra worries? After all, if they broke up, there should be a reason for it, don’t you trust their experience? And if you end up failing too, instead of support and emotional help everything you can receive may be that annoying, "I’ve warned you." Besides, it will not be pleasant for them to see you with their ex.

She has experienced various bad breakups

If your young women had a situation when their exes ran away from them, we advise you to immediately end this relationship. Because no matter how well she treats you now, in any situation that doesn’t suit them, she will immediately turn into an aggressive one, and who knows what this aggression will turn for you. She may use the same scenarios and really hurt you. So, if your acquaintances keep telling you that the girl is inadequate, angry, or simply crazy, take this as one of the red flags for dating.

She has a bad reputation

For women who have been entering various relationships for a long time, it is very difficult to give up their habits and change their way of life. Open dating is a normal thing for them, that is why you should discuss such things straightaway. Even if the girl says she will never cheat on you, think a hundred times before starting a relationship with her. Words are one thing, and the actions are what speak louder. After all, it is likely that she will continue doing the same after starting to date you.

If you met in a club

Of course, it depends on what you are waiting for from these relationships. If you need someone to accompany you long lonely evenings or go on the trip, you can agree to date practically anyone because red flags dating are not so scary in this case. But suggesting a woman to date after drinking a few cocktails at a nightclub or bar is certainly not a good idea. Your decision is dictated by the amount of alcohol you have drunk, you inadequately judge the identity of the person. If you really liked the woman - find out her name, learn more about her from her page on the social network. Then you will understand whether it is worth continuing the relationship or not. Especially if you want something serious.

She is in the process of getting a divorce

This is a very difficult period in the life of a woman, and her actions may not be completely objective and sincere because the previous relationship has not ended, her feelings are still fresh, her soul is vulnerable. It is likely that the woman begins a relationship for you to be her emotional retreat, to cure her of the past pain. Even a girl who has just broken up is a bad sign, especially if she insists on your union. Do not better enter such a love affair because it promises a little good.

Your friends are against your couple

If there is a situation where all your friends warn you against the woman you fall in love with, take their opinion seriously. After all, your buddies want to help, and if they all ask you to stay away from someone, then there are, in any case, good reasons for this.

She is your ex

This is one of the less obvious red flags in dating. Suppose you meet your ex-girlfriend at the mall six months after the breakup, and you start thinking that she has completely changed. Your old feelings suddenly pop up, the attraction is stronger than your logic. But it’s not in vain that they say: never set foot in the same river twice. All the same, you will part, and most likely for the same reason as for the first time.

First Date Red Flags

Many of us are ready to connect our lives with any person, just not to be alone. Men often seek to create a serious relationship and become too loyal, trying to discern the potential in a woman. There is nothing wrong. However, if your partner keeps disappointing you in things that are quite simple and normal, your couple is unlikely to have a bright future. How to understand whether she is the right person, or she is not at all the one you should be with? Here are a few signs that will help you understand this immediately after the first date.

You can’t relax next to her

If you constantly feel nervous or worried, as if you need to perform on stage or correspond to some role, this is an occasion to think. Don’t you need to feel naturally close to a person, and not try to impress her all the time? Of course, this is only the first date, and you both get nervous. But being nervous and anxious are different things when a person makes you pretend and put on masks, check yourself: can you just silently sit next to her? Can you work or read a book while sitting in the same room with her, or is silence makes you nervous?

Communicating with her upsets you and seems unnatural

Communication with those with whom you are going to spend a lot of time should be natural and free. It should bring you joy and be pleasant. If it seems to you that there are many moments of awkward silence between you when you try to think of something to talk about, especially after a few dates, then something is not going right in your relationship.

You like the idea of meeting her but not the idea of spending more time together

Think about what delights you more: the fact that you will have a girlfriend, or that you devote your time to her and receive an experience back. This is a simple sign that shows whether your relationship has a future. It is one thing if you need a non-binding relationship, and another when you need a foundation for a long-term relationship.

Next to her, you do not feel like yourself

This is not about she is doing something bad or unacceptable, but about how much you can be yourself in her presence. And this is a problem, whatever the reason for this sensation is. For example, if you dream of a quiet life outside the city, but the girl says she adores traveling and busy city life. If you start boasting that you've earned a lot of money and want to see the world, that you also prefer a "Yolo"-lifestyle, think twice, is this really you?

You do not feel her sincerity

Find out more about this person. Ask questions that will show you her worldview and values. What are this woman’s dreams? Are you watching in the same direction? If you decide to date this person - ask questions that will help reveal the main motives of your partner. If you notice that the partner says one thing and does the other, deceives you, flirts with others - it’s never too late to say “Goodbye!”

The list of questions can be infinitely supplemented. But it is always better to play it safe than to realize in the future that you were used. Remember that you make the final decision, therefore, all responsibility for your choice is on your conscience.

Robert Reznik, founder and lead trainer of the Los Angeles Institute for Gestalt Therapy, once said, “Relationships do not depend on what differences are between people, but on how people treat these differences.” This, in particular, is that relationships depend on the ability of partners to be in dialogue with each other. As many psychologists note, today most people simply do not know how to talk. Clarification of the relationship between them is not a dialogue, but two monologues in which everyone expresses their own claims to the other and tries to convince the opponent of their innocence. But the dialogue is what helps find out whether you match and what red flags you are and aren't ready to tolerate. And if you make a decision to start a risky relationship, only communication will save you from misunderstandings.