12.02.2020
Each of us, no doubt, at least once in our life has encountered it in one way or another. It is always painful and unpleasant. But where does cheating come from? Sometimes, we just make a mistake: we don't understand each other or don't care for the partner enough. This is due to the different perceptions of values and goals, and some people are just "from different worlds" as they say. And there is something bad and difficult about it. Especially when this leads to signs your partner has cheated.
The desire to raise one's self-esteem and satisfy one's own selfish or narcissistic intentions leads to the appearance of a sense of loss or insult. When we find out that our partner tried to meet hot girls online or that your girlfriend emotionally cheated on you with another guy, it is hard to move on. How to catch a cheater in time and what to do next? In today's article, we will try to answer this question.
Does the issue of cheating consist only of physical contact? Is treason only limited to the sexual side of the problem? In fact, betrayal in a relationship has many facets, and each form of it undermines the basis of relationships, destroying mutual understanding and trust between partners. Most of these types can be hidden behind the façade of a well-to-do relationship: cheating remains unclear until a certain point and destroys love quietly and imperceptibly like a beetle in a tree. So what are the different kinds and common signs of cheating in a relationship?
Physical betrayal
The most known form is disgusting in its essence, however, far from always involving a real love for the person with whom it happens. It is one matter to be physically adored with the object of adoration, and the whole another one to feel its superiority over your present partner on all counts. The deceived side is unbearably hurt. If you have been cheated on physically, you have every right to immediately expose the traitor at the door or walk away with things and your head held high. It is even worse when the cheating did not take place, but you have noticed that your partner had that romantic halo of love towards another person. Like your woman who has registered on a single woman dating site. It is not a valid reason for the final breakup of relationships. The situation hangs in the air and eats away the uncertainty of everyone involved. Physical betrayal can be a single case, casual and short-lived, or happen regularly. However, your partner's curious feelings for another, even without physical attachment, can last for years and torment you all this time.
Conscious frivolity
Where there is a problem of a frivolous attitude towards building a strong partnership, at first, one of the partners (or both) did not count on a long-term relationship. That is, there was sympathy, but no serious intentions in building a relationship. There are no signs of an affair with a third party in this case. Most often, betrayal in such relationships is manifested in the settings of one of the partners, "Anyways, there is no one better at the moment, so meanwhile I will be with her/him," or "Okay, I will not break the relationship to the moment they start wondering about the wedding." Cheating, in this case, exists in a latent form, it does not manifest itself, but only as long as the relationship remains comfortable for the partner who exhibits "conscious frivolity." As soon as a person sees the threat of real responsibility, and the relationship ceases to be a comfortable environment, they begin to panic and practically run away from a person who trusted them.
The other partner, who remains loyal, is characterized by a different type of setting: they try to "push" the partner into the obligations (for example, some girls try to "tie" a partner to themselves through the birth of a child). Such actions may retain the formal status of the relationship, but they will not lead to emotional closeness.
Emotional cheating
Strong relationships are those in which the partners definitely trust each other, there are real emotional closeness and no place for secrets and lies. However, what happens when someone from the outside appears between the two partners? It will be someone who has an even more trusting and emotionally close relationship with one of them. Do emotional affair signs mean that one of the spouses is willing to entrust this third-person all family secrets, even those unknown to the other spouse? Well, it can be regarded as emotional betrayal.
Of course, there is nothing wrong with friendship and meeting from time to time with other people of the opposite sex, because a person's life should not be based solely on marital relations. What are signs of cheating in a long-distance relationship? Emotional affairs often happen between people who do not see each other often. And this is not a matter of ordinary friendship but of a kind of platonic love, in which very warm emotionally intense relationships are built on absolute trust. It would seem that there is no real fact of cheating because the relationship is extremely platonic. But the danger of such relationships is that they have no place for secrets: any details of your own family life can be brought up for discussion. Subsequently, the truth about such a connection can go out and irrevocably undermine the trust fundamentals of relationships.
Psychologists say that some people are just prone to cheating on a hormonal and gene level. Or are there always two partners to blame for what has happened? If you get tormented by the question, "Why has my girlfriend cheated on me?" here you have the main reasons for this.
1. Lack of a strong emotional connection
It is important for a woman to talk honestly and frankly, feel her husband, his invisible support and participation, etc. If the emotional connection is interrupted for some reason, the woman feels lost. Other people will help get rid of this feeling. Because women, in most cases, do not seek sex, they want to feel loved, adored and cared for again, they try to get the emotional feedback they do not get from their partners.
2. Sexual dissatisfaction
Contrary to the common misconception, sex was "invented" not only for men. Yes, it is hard to believe, but women want it too. In fact, female orgasm is able to cure depression, increase self-esteem, and cause a reduction in the risk of gynecological diseases. If a woman doesn't get enough of it in the family, sooner or later she will look for intimate connection on the side. And what is more, a new man will look at her soberly, he hasn't yet get used to every inch of her body. A woman feels it, she knows that she can be appreciated and praised by someone else, that is why she chooses to cheat.
3. Revenge
The desire to take revenge on a man in response to betrayal is also a very common reason for cheating. The sexologist notes: a woman can forgive her husband only in this way. She may feel even worse after the affair. And if she chooses this way, it means the thoughts of treason have long crowed into her head, and she has been only waiting for an opportunity.
4. Unreasonable expectations
A woman waits for one thing and receives another. However, often the man is not guilty. The reason for the cheating is in the woman's desire to see what she wants, not what she really gets. But no matter how strong the fantasies are, life will break them. And the frustration can be so bitter that it will cause betrayal.
5. Desire to feel attractive again
Often this desire comes with age. Again, the woman wants to be loved, to feel unique, to be in a hot embrace and feel the fresh air of love. If the husband does not cultivate these feelings in her, and the woman strives them, then she will start looking for it in other men.
The cheating of a partner painfully affects male vanity. Sometimes men dream of a relationship with other women, but they never allow even the thought that their partner may have the same fantasies. We hasten to reassure the representatives of the strong half of humanity: suspicions regarding your woman and her affair on the side are baseless, at least in half the cases, or even in two-thirds. How to find out if a spouse is cheating for sure? There are quite noticeable changes in behavior that can signal a change. But now we will convince you that even they can turn out false.
Interpreting them requires sober thinking and sometimes even the opinion of someone from the side. If you are sure that the issue of cheating has not just immersed in your mind, and there may be some base for a suspicion, here are the main signs of a cheating woman in a relationship.
An unusual, exaggerated love
A study published in the Bulletin on Personality and Social Psychology stated that when a partner cheats, he or she becomes obviously flattered. To cover up the deception, women often start paying more attention to men. She will be gentle with you, kissing and hugging you more than usual. Because she tries to smooth the guilt and lessen your suspicions.
Works extra hours more often If your lover's typical work schedule gets suddenly longer, she turns back home deep at night, there may be some reason to suspect. One of the signs of a cheating spouse in a relationship is that she seems concerned with her thoughts. When you try to talk to her, you will notice that she is lost somewhere in her thoughts. It may be a sign that she is thinking of ending her relationship with you.
Social media: overly active men on her page
It is very easy to feel paranoid when a photo of your woman collects likes and compliments from different men. In general, this is not a basis for suspicion. But if a person goes beyond the level of intimacy and flirtation and does it constantly, one might think. Those can be signs of a cheating partner in a long-distance relationship as well.
Especially if your girlfriend tells you nothing about this person and hides the conversation from you. You should be particularly concerned if you find that your partner has secret accounts. If earlier you could easily look at her page on social networks and she did not mind, then she had nothing to hide from you. Now, all her pages get closed when you enter the room.
The phone is always with her
This is quite an unusual behavior to always take your phone with you: to the bathroom, to the kitchen, to the toilet. If she hides her smartphone screen, goes to another room when making calls, has a password, these are top signs cheating in a relationship.
Suspecting you of cheating
Often, when a person accusing you in signs of emotional cheating in a relationship or straight out physical affair, maybe they are just turning the situation around. When your girlfriend does not trust you, she may not be clean herself. Now she draws attention to every tiny imperfection in the relationship and constantly worries about it, trying to make it a reason to break up the relationship. She blames you because she seeks the reason to justify herself.
To understand whether a spouse is walking or not, you can quit work, rent an apartment opposite and watch her through the window around the clock. Will a lover come? Or you can hire a private detective, laying out a tidy sum for their work, but who will guarantee that they will not get along with your spouse and will not commit treason. Then you have to hire another private detective, and then another one - to bring the situation to absurdity. And the man understands this, but jealousy already controls him and does not allow him to breathe normally, live normally, love his spouse and be her beloved.
There is a way out of the state of constant jealousy, which lies through an understanding of psychology, of one's own and of one's spouse. In this case, it will be possible to understand and accurately determine whether the spouse is capable of treason. Moreover, to understand whether this will continue or whether it was just a one-time case, she did it at the behest of her heart or because of revenge.
If the spouse has stopped paying attention to you, then you should pay attention to where and when she happens to be. You can get into her phone, in her correspondence, start tracking her geolocation, listen to the phone. In the end, hire a private investigator. But it should be borne in mind that all girls can relate to this in different ways. It's better to get divorced right away if you are in doubt and continue to live with her, you will always be "cheated" in your thoughts.
Cheating is like a symptom of something happening in a relationship. For example, some physical, sexual, or emotional need is not being met, and there is a physical or emotional alienation of the partners. Accordingly, to diagnose the stimulus component, it is worth examining what was the "life background" of the couple. What are signs of cheating in a relationship in the long run? Changes in behavior and suspicious actions.
When cheating takes place, the psychological debate over the questions, "Who is to blame for betrayal?" "Why does it happen?" "How can we avoid it?" And there are still more questions than answers. Of course, the best thing is to prevent it than to deal with the consequences, but there are many factors that cause this action. And before you look for guilt in your partner, you should pay attention to yourself because maybe it is you who pushed the loved one to do evil deeds.