10 Signs Your Relationship Is Over

10.06.2019

Why Relationships End: Main Reasons

How to know if your relationship is over? There are lots of possible reasons why a relationship may be reaching its end.

The most common reason why your relationship is dying is lack of communication. Most other reasons are basically about different ways of interpreting this problem.

If your relationship lacks communication, you may start growing apart, go your own ways and realize that you don’t know a person that you consider to be your partner when it’s too late.

Lack of communication stops a relationship and any progress that can be made in it, you are just stuck in this situationship without any new sensations, new feelings or new ideas. You are not developing as a person.

There are also situations in which one partner perceives a relationship in a completely different way to their partner. They may become selfish, focus on their own happiness, or on the contrary, spend too much time on a relationship, thus, becoming clingy and annoying. While it may sound weird, but you both have to discuss the plans that you have for your relationships, your goals, and your ideas of your mutual future.

That being said, let’s dive deeper and analyze the following signs your relationship is over.

Signs Your Relationship Is Over

Yvonne Thomas, a psychologist and relationship expert, has identified 10 key signs a relationship is over. Take note of these signs a relationship is over for men and women, but remember that any relationship goes through various ups and downs, and even if most of these signs coincide with your situation, remember that only you and your partner can decide whether to fight for your happiness or say goodbye to the past.

How do you know when a relationship is over?

1. You don’t talk with each other

Communication is the key to any healthy relationship. Many people expect that their partner will independently guess their desires. However, if you don’t talk to your partner about how you feel in any given situation, you shouldn’t expect them to know about it.

2. You do not hear each other

Is my relationship over? If you are unable to listen to your partner during a conversation, or they don’t listen to you, it probably is. Dr. Yvonne Thomas says that you should be careful with the things you say during a heated conversation because you may come to regret the things that came out of your mouth.

3. You do not feel safe

If you don’t feel safe with a partner in all aspects of a relationship: emotional, physical, and sexual, then it’s time to reconsider this relationship.

4. One of you has returned to your bad habits

Often, when falling in love, people tend to give up their bad habits for the sake of establishing a happy family life with a partner. However, if one of the partners is unhappy in a relationship, they will most likely return to their bad habits and addictions.

5. You are spying on your partner

If one of the partners began to spy on the other, they are either unsure of themselves, or they have a good reason for it, and they hope to find out something about their partner. In any case, espionage paralyzes a relationship. Yvonne Thomas warns that spying on a partner ends well only in rare cases. Emotional betrayal and deceit, which accompanies spying, may be more painful to a person than physical cheating.

6. You cannot agree on anything

When is a relationship over? If one of the partners constantly refuses to give in to the other, then your relationship is deadlocked. To correct this situation, it is necessary to seek compromises, otherwise, one of you will feel pathetic and miserable, and the other will feel dominant.

7. You do not have sex

If you no longer have sex, ask yourself why this is happening. Because you do not want to do it, or because they have ceased to take the initiative in their own hands, haven't they? Experts say that human contact in a relationship is necessary, and if it is not there, sooner or later, it can lead to a breakup. According to Dr. Thomas, the absence of sex is a symptom of a more serious relationship problem, a sign that something is not going well.

8. You always initiate intimacy

How to know when a relationship is over? If sex happens only on your initiative, this is a signal that there are problems in your relationship. Bedroom is a place in which both partners should manifest their love, otherwise, a relationship will bring only disappointment. You can hint to your partner that you would like them to take the initiative. If this tactic does not work, try to have an honest discussion with your partner and find out why they do not want to take the first step.

9. You have sex, but you do not get pleasure from it

Sex is a huge part of any romantic relationship, so do not underestimate the power of intimacy. How to know when your relationship is over? If you have ceased to enjoy sex, then you have lost the emotional connection with your partner. In case you want to revive the past relationship, you need to talk to your partner and try to change your relationship for the better.

10. You feel lonely

If being in a relationship, you feel lonely, it’s probably time to break the bond and move on. Yvonne Thomas says we know that better than anyone else in the world. If a relationship has reached a dead end, and you feel lonely, then trust your instincts and move on. It is quite likely that your instincts are right. Now that we know how to tell your relationship is over, let’s talk about the actual breakup.

What to Do When Your Relationship Is Over?

When you know a relationship is over, you have to prepare for your inevitable conversation about the future. There are no instructions on how to end a relationship, and there is no single way to do it. There are only tips on how to make things less painful and more effective.

Burn bridges

A breakup is effective when a relationship is over, and it is no longer possible to return to it. The most important and most difficult thing is to get a person out of your hearing. The ideal scenario, in this case, is to thank your partner for all of the good moments that you’ve shared and move on.

Indicate the reason for your breakup

It is very difficult to explain the reason for a breakup to a partner, especially when you've got confused in your explanations and complaints. However, you still need to try to identify those problems that caused this rift and explain why you see no other way out of this situation. Remember, your arguments must be clear and understandable. They should not have a double meaning or possibility that your partner will interpret them in any other way than the one that has been intended.

Do not blame your partner

To blame is to be weak. You face a person that you once loved and with whom you spent many wonderful years (months, weeks – it doesn’t matter). They do not deserve humiliation in such a difficult moment of their life. Don’t fall as low as to blame them for your breakup, a relationship consists out of two people. And remember that you should not bring up the dreaded quotes like, "It's not about you." – they are just cliché at this point, they don’t sound natural.

Rehearse

Most likely, you will still say it differently, but a few rehearsals won’t hurt. Firstly, it will give you confidence. Secondly, it will make you look serious and not just emotional. Thirdly, you will at least have some bullet points to use during a conversation, you may just get stuck during your explanation, but they will make it easier for you. Memories are the most difficult things to go through. Those evenings that you’ve spent together in the moonlight, all of the joint vacations and other great memories. Sure, you will find something to remember, so force yourself to be silent about the past and don’t allow your partner to bring it up as an argument against a breakup, what’s done is done.

Choose neutral ground

This point is derived from the previous one. No apartments, favorite parks or restaurants, where you have been or have visited them often. Of course, you should not part in the lobby of a subway station or at a bus stop, try to choose something more neutral. Let it be a place in which neither you nor your partner have ever been and will definitely not be again. The place of a breakup must never come up again on your map.

Do not offer your partner to stay friends

By offering your partner to stay friends you won’t achieve anything. Your life is not a movie that will get exciting and happy at your whim; thus, you should not try to follow the movie tropes of storytelling. At least because of the fact that all of the words of actors are subject to the logic of a scriptwriter, and not to your life situation.

Do not yell at each other

Shouting, yelling, and mutual accusations won’t bring any positive results. Do not expect that a breakup will be easier and less painful. It is possible that after a while you will regret what has been said and decide to apologize. And, once again, don’t even think of reuniting. Movies may tell you that what comes next is the best sex of your life, but this is not a movie, this is life, there is no poetry in it, and it doesn’t follow a script.

Types of Separation

Friendly breakup

When the feelings fade away, the partners are internally free to have the courage to recognize the meaninglessness of what is happening and say goodbye to each other. Usually, in such couples, trusting relationships with children are maintained, and a breakup is unlikely to cause any damage to a kid’s childhood.

Unfinished gestalt

Spouses or partners understand that mutual fire has died away, the feeling of affection was lost, but a relationship must be maintained for some invented, illusory reasons. For example, until the children grow up. Often, in such families, there may be lots of cheating. Children growing up in an atmosphere of constant lies and soak up a dysfunctional example of a family scenario. These children are future clients of psychotherapists.

The most painful breakup with neuroses and psychosomatic problems

A difficult, tragic breakup happens if one partner is not ready to let go of the other. This means that a partner that doesn’t want to let go of a person looks at them as property, denying the right to have freedom of choice. And it is very hard to break up with a person that doesn’t seem to realize that it’s all over. For these people, the problem of letting go is often extremely difficult – a person may require the services of a specialist who will help them become independent and rational.
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