26.02.2020
It is sad, but very often people use each other to get what they want. Such a problem may exist in the relationship between a man and a woman. If it seems to you that the girl you are dating is using you, this article will help determine if this is actually the case. Thanks to the signs listed in this article, you can understand whether the girl is using you or not. Today we will find out how to ask a girl if she is using you, what to do if she is using you out of boredom and list some sure signs to know if she is using you.
Love for a woman that uses her partner is akin to a man’s illness: he no longer belongs to himself; he is ready to run to her and fulfill her every whim at the first call. An enviable man in all respects leaves his beautiful woman for an ordinary gray mouse, leaving everyone in complete bewilderment: what did he find in her?! Men who have experienced a love for such a woman often cannot understand what happened to them, "It was as if I was bewitched!"
If a man doesn’t part with such a woman in time, she can destroy him - he will pay with his career, lose money, all his affairs will be upset, and maybe he will simply die. Fortunately, the latter is very rare. While these women are close to men, the affairs of the latter are declining. But as soon as they part, everything is getting better, and problems that seemed insoluble just yesterday are settled by themselves. Women representing a danger to men can be divided into four categories. One thing that we should mention early on in this article is that there is plenty of fish out there, you should not suffer in a relationship. Thus, you must know how easy it is to find a woman online, choose her from a list of pictures of single girls on a dating site and establish communication, start a relationship with a person that values and loves you.
This woman is very similar to his mother. It can be either a copy of her or very remotely resembling her, he will only be reminded of some nuance – the ways she turns her head, voice, the shape of the hands, her hips. When he looks at her, something seems to click in his head, and she receives the same power over him as a mother over her child. He may have found her on an older men younger women dating site, where all of his fantasies were laid down in front of him.
The question is, why does a man need such a woman, especially if he is successful, occupies a good job and earns a lot of money? It may seem paradoxical to some, but it is precisely such men who most need maternal care. The more successful a man is, the earlier he got away from his mother. He looks like a strong man, yet in his soul, he remains a small child who has not received affection and warmth. Moreover, you have to pay for success, as well as for everything in this life. And then he meets a woman who is so reminiscent of his mother. Yes, he’s ready for anything for her! No wonder she begins to controls him.
She is his dream, his unrealized sexual fantasy. Perhaps she looks like his classmate, whom he unrequitedly loved, the famous movie star, or she simply has the perfect body. Having met such a lady, a man thinks only about sex: now he can get what he dreamed of back in adolescence - so he gets rid of his long-standing desire. And if she reciprocates, then he just does not need the rest of the world, and he forgets about it.
A story in which an adult, mature man finds his lost daughter. Of course, not in the literal sense of the word. Just for some reason, he at one time was not realized as a father. For example, he wanted a daughter, but a son was born. Or a daughter was born, but he was engaged in business and could not give her as much attention as he wanted and considered necessary. In general, there may be plenty of options. And then, after meeting the one that, as a rule, seems to him insanely unhappy, in need of care and guardianship, he quickly rushes to help. His behavior is nothing but unfulfilled fatherhood, and next to such a woman, a man feels omnipotent, almost as if he is a god, which, of course, incredibly fuels his vanity.
Here are the reasons why women use men.
Is she is using you for money? If sex in your relationship is as rare as snowfall in Algeria, then you should consider her true motives for being with you. She can gladly accept your courtship, nod approvingly at the offer to go to an expensive restaurant, put on a sincere smile when accepting a new piece of jewelry. But, when it comes to sex, and your girlfriend turns into a guardian of Puritan customs, this speaks of one of two things: either she uses you, or she came to you from the 19th century. In any situation, the maximum that you can count on in your intimate life is a friendly hug at the entrance to the porch of her house. But this is not even the worst thing about it. It is worse when there is sex, but it is part of the barter system of your relationship. You give her an expensive gift - she gives you a night of love.
It seems to you that she needs you only for sex. She uses you for her sexual purposes. After all, not only men like sex. Women also love to be affectionate, and therefore, if they have someone to use for their sexual pleasures – they will. She calls you from time to time. If you notice that calls occur more often at night, and not during the daytime, then something is wrong with her. Do not follow her lead. Convince her that you are not comfortable with such a relationship based on profit. As a rule, this is the last thing a person would like to hear if she seeks to completely subjugate you. Besides, you must reject her the next time she calls again in the evening. Tell her you're busy. If she starts getting nervous, then she is either sexually unsatisfied or jealous, what if you have someone else. In the second case, there is a small chance that she has serious feelings, and not just a desire to stay in the bedroom with you. However, you cannot be so sure, so talk to her about it.
Do you work in one company and she shows her interest-only during working hours? There is something to worry about. You probably occupy an important position in the company, and she is hungry for career advancement, and you are the only opportunity to achieve what she wants. When the working day is behind, and you go home to spend time together, she is no longer so enthusiastic. However, she will still be very nice to you because deep inside she knows that in the end, it will benefit her career. Again, if you feel a lack of emotional bestowal on her part, she definitely uses you. Lack of emotional connection implies short answers, lack of spiritual intimacy, an equal initiative on her part, etc. It feels like she is near you, but at the same time somewhere far away. If so, then try to break your relationship and look at her reaction.
As for practical tips, in a situation of pressure and manipulation, a few simple rules can help you out. First, it’s good to ask simple open-ended questions: Why? What for? The one who uses and manipulates has more power. By assuming the right to ask questions, you restore balance. You can’t just make you do what is convenient for the speaker - you want details from them. How to ignore her when she is just using you? Take a break. If you know that it’s easy to push you, learn to gracefully leave the scene of action before this happens. Literally under any, the most ridiculous pretext: you urgently needed to go to the toilet, you need to drink some water, smoke a cigarette, answer an important call. You may look a little strange and even impolite. But while in silence, you catch your breath and calm down, you can give yourself time to sort out what is happening. And make it a rule not to agree to any affairs, obligations or expenses right away, “I need to think until the evening.” And remember: if in response to this, a person becomes angry or puts even more pressure on you, this is absolutely no reason to change the decision. Moreover, this is a sign that you are doing everything right: most likely, others are unfriendly towards you. Anyone determined to act in your best interests will be calm and wait.
What to do if she is using you? Practice saying no. People often do not dare to refuse because they are afraid that a person will stop loving and leave them. But do you need those around you who love you only when you are reliable and when it is convenient? Practice refusing without making an excuse. “Sorry, but no,” “No, I don’t want to” and “No, it’s not convenient for me” - three magic phrases that do not require any additional information. Perhaps those whom you have never refused before will be surprised or angry at first.
And now let’s list some signs she is using you for attention or anything else.
Girls are taught to be a bit bitchy. Some never part with this role. It is these young women who most often attract good boys. To protect the nerves of the boys, we wrote a detailed guide on how to recognize that the girl uses you and spits on your warm feelings.
Here’s the first of signs she is using you. You call her to drink some coffee in a nice cafe, then you smoothly switch to red wine, then you go to a taxi, and you eagerly kiss her on the lips, and when you drive home, you hurry to tell everyone about your strategic victory. And tomorrow she is an iceberg and is trying to leave a huge hole in the Titanic of your love for her in every possible way. For all attempts to kiss, touch or hold her hand, the girl looks at you as if you are her worst enemy. Then, when you manage to curb the passions and calm down, she suddenly decides to stroke your leg or touches your shoulder. And all this will spin in a very unpredictable way. Welcome to the nightmare world where she will come closer and move further away from you without any logic behind it. Do not be fooled, they do not try to charm you according to recipes from books on how to become a bitch. The girl just drives you to the farthest corner of the friend zone or develops her seduction skills on you.
Is she using you? Well, if she seems to talk to you about other guys, then yes. Not to be confused with stories about the ex, who, of course, is the worst of villains and deserves to get electrocuted at the very least. Although everyone says that discussing past relationships is not worth it, following this rule is most often completely impossible. Another thing is if you are bombarded with reposts of messages from other guys and a storm of approving reactions to them. Of course, you can console yourself with the hope that she trusts you, and you are her closest person in this world. However, know this: in it quite likely that she doesn’t treat your relationship seriously, you are her friend. She will eventually start dating someone else and you will be sitting there, waiting for your turn. Indeed, even after she leaves this guy, she will certainly begin to text another guy, and your destiny is to continue reading the outpouring messages of her next man.
How to tell if she is just using you? She needs to be taken away from work, her mobile phone has broken down, and it needs to be repaired immediately (or to find the money for repairs), she urgently needs to get a star from the sky, and you are the only one who can do that for her. And all that she needs for some reason must be done by you. She recalls your existence only in moments of extreme need for something. Do not imagine yourself as the most necessary person for her. You are the most necessary set of hands for her, a car, or a wallet.
How to know she is using you? The starting period of relationships has already been going on for the fifth or sixth week, you still hold hands, and the matter has not progressed beyond almost innocent kisses. Of course, you might think that she has not yet moved away from past relationships (especially if they have just recently ended). One girl is confident in her deep knowledge of the psychology of relationships and assured that a decent woman would not have sex with a guy earlier than in the third month of relationships. All this, of course, is nonsense. If a girl does not see you deep inside, then she needs you for something else, but certainly not for building a serious and long-term relationship.
Does she love you or is she just using you? Well, analyze the way she makes jokes that have to do with you. A girl with a subtle sense of humor is a treasure (especially if she has a large set of boobs and a fine ass). However, if the stylet of her jokes is honed mainly on you, you should think about her feelings. Most likely, they simply do not exist.
Here’s one of the signs she is using you for validation. You are to blame for any of your quarrels. Even if it seems to you like she is to blame, and this is not a secret even to her, the next day it is you who begs her to forget everything and start from scratch. The only explanation for her behavior is that your relationship is unequal, and you love her not just more, but much more than she loves you. Remember, with each such quarrel you fall lower and lower in her eyes. In the end, you will find yourself at the very bottom of the Mariana Trench of her contempt, where you are not waiting for comforting sex, but for the very high pressure with which she will push you out of her life.
Suppose your car was just rammed in an accident, you call her to tell about this terrible incident, and in response, you hear some noises and short responses because you can’t pick her up from work. If you suddenly decide to break your leg, guess who will come to the hospital? That's right, anyone but her. Yes, she is not even able to text you first. This is because she does not want to see you in her life.
You found yourself in all seven points above and decided to resolutely leave this bitch. Already found yourself another girl, you are ready to build a new relationship. And just at that moment, like a brick from a construction site, she falls on your head. Everything begins with a message. In it, the fatal lady tells you how bad she feels without you, or maybe even hints at something — for example, that you’ll finally end up in the same bed. You, of course, will run to her headlong, but at the end of the path, you will feel pain and run into all the same impenetrable wall of indifference to you.
If you see that a girl is using you, talk to her about it. Encourage her to change her attitude towards you. Nevertheless, be prepared for the fact that you have to break up with her.