Long-Distance Relationships: Tips for Men

07.11.2019

Nowadays, life is very dynamic. People in love are sometimes forced to be apart from each other, moving between cities and even countries. Some find a loved one in the global network, others leave for work, and still, others live worlds apart for various reasons. But do long-distance relationships work? How to deal with long-distance relationships to live happily with a person you love? What are the pros and cons of long-distance relationships? Let's go into the matter.

Does a long-distance relationship work?

People fall under two headings: those who believe in long-distance relationships, and those who consider them complete nonsense. Despite all skepticism, there are people who still believe that true love cannot be destroyed by any obstacles, even as global as a great distance. Let's consider whether such a relationship works or not.

Why do people choose this kind of relationship?

Some time ago, long-distance relationships were perceived as something exotic. The most common reason for such relations was the conscription of a young man into the armed forces. But times have changed radically. Borders are erasing, and people are becoming more mobile. The situation, when one of the partners lives in one city and the other – hundreds of kilometers away from the loved one, no longer seems to be out of the ordinary.

A well-paid job, an acquaintance with a foreigner on social networks, single ladies online dating, political preferences, or even better-living conditions – there are more and more reasons for starting a long-distance relationship. Modern means of communication allow people in love not only to hear but also to see each other almost every minute. And high-speed trains and planes make it possible to meet a beloved if not every weekend, then at least once a month.

Statistic and experts' verdict

Many people still do not believe in love over a distance. And even more so, in its full value. According to Psychology Today magazine, 56.6% of people consider long-distance relationships less happy and stronger than ordinary ones. However, research data refute this opinion.

So, a group of American psychologists published an article based on the surveys of 1142 people above 20 years of age who are in a relationship – both ordinary and long-distance. According to the data obtained, there are no fundamental differences between these two types of relations.

The participants were asked to rate satisfaction with their relationships according to several key parameters: the degree of closeness, emotional involvement, quality of communication, and level of sexual satisfaction. And a couple who live together or simply in the same city did not surpass those who are separated by hundreds of kilometers by any of these parameters.

Moreover, people in long-distance relationships often found themselves even more satisfied with the partnership. It sounds paradoxical, but psychologists explain it by the fact that in a long-distance relationship, there is a certain degree of idealization of a loved one. In addition, rare meetings become a real high day for the partners, at the same time, they do not have to deal with the daily routine.

Long-distance relationships: tips for men

If you and your beloved woman had to leave for different cities or countries, do not rush to despair and wait for your tender feelings to fade away. After all, you can promote romantic feelings and even whip them up. There are some effective tips on how to make long-distance relationships work.

Don't be jealous

Is it possible to keep a long-distance relationship without jealousy? A lot of single girls consider that it is difficult to fight jealousy in usual relations and almost impossible to do it in long-distance relationships. Therefore, do not even start to be jealous of your girlfriend on account of other men. All you can do is trust your girlfriend, there are no other options. If you are not ready to do this – it is better to break up now. After all, it will happen anyway a little later, but before that, you will have time to ruin the lives of each other due to constant jealousy and resentment.

Set priorities and use every opportunity to communicate with your loved one

A long-distance relationship should be more important for you than most social connections that are “at hand”. Of course, it can be difficult, because it is not easy to stay at home and wait for your loved one to make contact with you when friends invite you to go to the cinema or have fun in a fashionable club. But it is necessary for such a type of relationship. Moreover, rare meetings with a loved one are often not enough to get to know each other really good. Therefore, you should not neglect any opportunity to communicate with a beloved girlfriend. This is one of the most useful tips for long-distance relationships.

Talk about the little things

If you feel that you have absolutely nothing to talk about with a loved one every day, stop making up topics for conversation. This is exactly what prevents you from keeping in touch more often – trying to come up with a good topic for conversation. People who are close to each other do not need to communicate so often, but your task is to create the illusion that you are at arm's length with your loved one. Therefore, talk about the little things that a couple living together would talk about: discuss household chores, work, and even the fact that your cat was scared of a vacuum cleaner again. It will bring you closer and make your relationship stronger.

Plan your future

No matter what a great distance separates you two and how much time you date each other, long-distance relationships cannot and should not last forever. You should consider them as temporary and make plans for a common future that will come when finally, there will be no need to travel hundreds of kilometers to meet a loved one. It gives your relationship some perspective and motivation for development.

Feel free to express your feelings

In the case of long-distance relationships, all communication between the lovers takes place through the means of words. Therefore, tell your beloved woman about your tender feelings more often. The meaning of a long-distance relationship is to share the warm and affectionate words with each other. Your girlfriend will be pleased to hear that you love her and think about her all the time. However, love can be expressed not only in gentle words but also in support. Therefore, support your beloved in the time of need. Remember that long-distance relationships are possible only under the condition of mutual support and trust. If your girlfriend has any problems, you should always be in touch to lend her a hand. It is one of the best long-distance relationships advice, as a girl wants to feel your support and sincere desire to help. So do not be shallow-hearted and then you will overcome any obstacles together.

Benefits of a long-distance relationship

It is difficult to keep a long-distance relationship, but admit it – it is much better than being single. Moreover, such a relationship has its advantages.

1. There is no daily routine

Sometimes the purest and brightest love cannot stand banal everyday problems and disagreements. The constant lack of money or time, disputes over whose turn it is to wash the dishes or walk the dog... Everyday routine kills love no less effectively than a great distance.

2. Freshness of feelings

Separation is not only sadness but also hope, the expectation of a new meeting, and bright (partly even idealized) feelings. Distance is not an obstacle to true love. In long-distance relationships, meetings are especially rare. If you meet a loved one once a month, such a date is surely unforgettable, even if you have been together for many years. Therefore, lovers appreciate every minute spent with each other.

3. You will travel more

If you are in a long-distance relationship, it means that you have to overcome this distance in order to meet your loved one. Therefore, this kind of relations gives both of you an opportunity to travel more and discover new interesting places together. You can arrange a date on neutral territory and visit a city where none of you have been before.

Long-distance relationships: common mistakes

Human relations are long and hard work, and long-distance relationships are many times more complicated. However, there are couples who are separated by hundreds of kilometers but good at maintaining the flame of passion for each other. What are the secrets of surviving long-distance relationships? How to make a long-distance relationship happy and strong? First of all, let's find out what mistakes you should avoid in order to build successful long-distance relationships.

Misunderstandings and omissions

When people live together, they resolve conflicts and find out what went wrong more easily and quickly. But in long-distance relationships, it is easier to slam the phone, refuse to talk, and just ignore messages of a loved one. Any quarrel can cause prolonged squabbles and resentment. And the timeless call or answered message may cause jealousy, anger, and sadness. To avoid this mistake, do not be afraid to find out from your beloved what he really meant saying some or other words.

The idealized image of a loved one

Long-distance relationships are often chosen by those people who hate domestic assaults, for example, because of the dirty socks, a hairbrush full of hair, or a bunch of tubes and jars in the bathroom. If each partner has his own personal space and the couple always arrange dates only on a common area (rented apartment, hotel, restaurant), then the idealized image of a partner is not corrected in their heads. They still have a lot of high expectations, which are usually dispelled in the very first years of living together. And then, the lovers realize that they simply do not match each other

Lack of trust

Another mistake that poses a terrible danger to long-distance relationships is the lack of trust. Many couples break-up because of suspicion, and long-distance relationships are just a minefield in this sense. After all, there is no chance to check whether your loved one deceives you or not. In many respects, trust depends on the personality of each of the partners, their previous experience of romantic relationships, behavior patterns and, of course, how jealous each of them is.

Lack of communication

Lack of communication or its complete transformation is one of the most important mistakes in such relationships. Long-distance relations are based just on text-voice communication, which makes them somewhat flawed, especially if a couple meet each other regularly before the separation. Of course, in modern times, there are many alternatives to live communication: telephone, text messages, video calls, social networks, and various messengers. But if lovers do not devote enough time to communicate with each other and get in touch very little and rarely, then it will definitely lead to a break-up of relations.

Lack of romance

Many couples break-up being in a long-distance relationship because their love fades away and they no longer experience those tender feelings. Distance should not be an obstacle to your love. Therefore, saturate your life with romantic episodes. There are millions of ways to say “I love you” or “I think of you”: send a postcard, flowers, sweets, countless souvenirs, and even order a romantic dinner to the home of your beloved. You can come up with a great number of pleasant surprises indicating your romantic feelings: a collection of “your” songs sent by e-mail, Skype dates in the most revealing outfits, or joint shopping, during which you can exchange photos and consult about the choice of clothes with your beloved. Just make an imaginative leap and whip up your feelings!

Are long-distance relationships worth it?

It is only you who can give an answer to this question. The most important thing is to thoroughly understand what you want to achieve in the end and whether it is possible within the framework of your relationship. If you live in different cities or countries and no one is going to sacrifice his interests for the sake of a loved one, then it is completely clear that you will not succeed in creating a classic family with children and a summer house outside the city. But if there is at least a snowball chance that in the end, you will move in together, then perhaps it makes sense to wait for this moment or try to somehow prompt its advent. In fact, almost all the problems can be solved when two people are ready to engage in dialogue and seek compromises.

But if one of the partners is completely unhappy in such a relationship, and the other is not ready to change anything, then it is better to break-up, because such a relationship will not work. But if both partners are quite happy with each other, then they should not give a damn about the opinions of other people but just enjoy their piece of happiness. After all, if they are happy, nothing else matters. Appreciate and love each other!