What to Do If Somebody Talks Too Much on a Date

19.05.2020

According to experts, there is some connection between how people choose partners and how much they talk. It turns out that in a five-minute conversation, a person decides whether he or she wants to continue a date. So, it means that the first impression is really important.

It doesn’t matter why you want to go on a date, it can be quite stressful. Of course, you may also feel pleasant feelings, especially if there is some chemistry between you, even though you are a little embarrassed or feel not quite comfortable at first. But how can you get to know a person? How to avoid talking too much? How to talk about personal or awkward topics? And how to deal with people who talk too much?

First Date Is a Game for two

When men find girls online, and they are about to date, they both don’t know what to expect from each other. It depends on the first date whether they like each other and want to continue their meetings. Therefore, it all depends on a skillful conversation. Such a meeting can be the beginning of a successful relationship.

The purpose of the meeting is to get to know each other better. Spontaneity is important here because by planning the course of the conversation, you can quickly discuss something, and, at some point, an awkward silence will occur. It is most rational to ask sensitive questions during a conversation to learn a little more about your partner and convince him or her to be more open.

Also, you shouldn’t ask provocative and too frank questions because such an obsessive behavior can only frighten a person. Good taste and diverse interests will help you discuss various topics, as well as listen to what your partner wants to say. Let the conversation take a pace, and thus you can avoid awkward silence. By the way, questions about a previous relationship, children, talking about exes too much, and dating after a breakup will definitely be a bad taste. These topics are taboo on a first date, and breaking this rule can make the person just run away. The first date can be extremely interesting. If you communicate correctly, it can later develop into something deeper and more unusual.

4 Obvious Signs You Are Talking Too Much on a Date

Talkativeness is sometimes a wonderful trait! But often men who talk too much put themselves and their interlocutors in an awkward position. Where does this fine line and how not to cross it?

1. Your conversations turn from dialogue into a monologue

According to research data, on average, about 40% of each conversation is spent on self-talk. Perhaps this is because when we share personal information, it activates the reward system of the brain. And if we talk about others, this doesn’t happen. Talking about yourself too much can be pleasant, but an ideal conversation should be structured differently, and time should be evenly distributed between the interlocutors.

2. You usually start a conversation

Do you immediately switch to funny stories from your own life and share observations, even if you are not asked about this? This is the wrong position! How to not talk too much? Balance is needed in the conversation, and constant talking about yourself is an attempt to attract too much attention.

3. You discuss too intimate things

A sure sign that you can’t stop talking in time is that you catch yourself saying something that you will regret then – be it some secret (your own or someone else’s), offensive comment or any other phrase, which was not worth pronouncing at this time and in this place. If you understand that to maintain an interesting conversation, you are ready to give any information on your interlocutor without thinking about the consequences, we have bad news for you.

4. Your interlocutors don’t listen to you

We all had situations when we were eager to tell a cool (albeit a very long) story, and there is nothing to worry about. Another thing is if the situation is systematically repeated, and your interlocutors directly hint at it. If your new friends make remarks to you (they ask you to speak more quietly or directly say that you are too talkative), then it means it’s time to think about what is wrong with you. If people complain that you talk a lot and are not at all interested in their affairs, this is an occasion to at least analyze your behavior.

How to Deal with People Who Talk Too Much

Imagine that you come on a date, you want to find out some information about a person and tell something about yourself, but you just can’t say a word because the other person can’t stop talking. What should you do in this situation?

1. Start a conversation on a topic that they will not be interested in

If you want a girl talking too much to stop doing it, then you can use her methods against her. Become as chatty for a while, and let the woman understand what it is. Start talking with her about topics that she doesn’t understand, and which she will not be interested in. Speak so as not to give her even the opportunity to say a word. Reject all her attempts to change the topic. Let the woman understand how unpleasant it is when you are not allowed to express yourself.

2. Politely interrupt the conversation

At the beginning of the conversation, you can carefully listen to interlocutors, but when you understand that people have a talking too much disorder and don’t allow you to say a word, then politely interrupt them. If they start apologizing and want to continue the conversation, then say that you understood what was being said. Then ask to listen to you. After all, they are not talking to themselves. If they still insist on ending their thoughts and continue to speak, then let them do it, but you should continue to look for opportunities to interrupt them.

3. Openly stop the conversation and leave

How to tell someone they talk too much? If you meet people who talk too much, and you can’t do anything about it, then you need to be honest with them. You just need to interrupt the conversation. Tell your interlocutor that you don’t have much time to listen to them, and you need to go. And the next time you meet, continue the conversation. At the next meeting, when they begin to talk, you will refer to your busyness and reschedule the conversation. Any sane person will understand that he or she is behaving incorrectly and draw the appropriate conclusions.

How to Control Talking Too Much During a Date

Sometimes we get so excited on a date that we start talking incessantly. This is a way to relieve tension. But you need to know the measure.

1. Be interested in the opinions of others

How to stop talking too much? Don’t focus solely on expressing your thoughts. To manage the conversation, you need to involve interlocutors in it, and for this, you need to periodically be interested in what they think about this or that thing. And your task here is to have an excellent knowledge of the topic and be interested in the opinions of interlocutors.

2. Let others speak out

During communication, there is always the possibility that you will be considered a bore if you talk too much. The conversation is a dialogue, not a monologue, which implies the exchange of information between two people, which means you need to shut your mouth at least periodically and let other people speak out. To properly manage the conversation you need to remember that the shorter your speeches, the more carefully they listen to you. People who talk a lot and for a long time lose their authority in the eyes of their interlocutors.

3. Don’t turn the conversation into an interrogation

Even though your task is to find out as much information as possible from people about themselves or their point of view, you don’t need to terrorize them with constant questions. This is a conversation, not an interrogation. First, at the end of the conversation, no one will examine you for what you've managed to learn about each other. Secondly, you are on a date, and it is simply indecent to concentrate on yourself. This is how to control talking too much.

4. Look for a balance between how much you talk and how much you listen to overcome the excitement of the first minutes

If you are a little embarrassed or nervous at the very beginning of your first date, don’t worry about it. The embarrassment of the first minutes can be overcome by talking about trifles, which will allow you to establish contact. Be sure to keep an eye on how much time you are talking and how much you are listening. Talking about trifles allows you to talk about yourself, as well as to learn general information about interlocutors, their interests and preferences, which opens up opportunities for a deeper and more meaningful conversation.

5. Reading between the lines is your guide to a more meaningful conversation

Another task of the first date is to find out if you have common interests and spiritual values, and if so, which ones. Sociable people, as a rule, openly talk about what is important to them. At the same time, the more restrained ones prefer to give hints about their feelings, opinions, and outlooks on life. Know how to hear and understand them. Then show your interest by asking a question that involves a detailed answer that will reveal the deep meaning of what your interlocutor said.

So, why do people talk too much? As a rule, they have problems with self-doubt. Through words, they stimulate themselves. That is, they are trying to show that they are not burdened with fears and worries. In fact, they have a constant dialogue and insecurity in their heads. Finally, people differently understand what close interpersonal relationships are. Someone may prefer tactile contact, someone need support and attention, and for someone, it is important what they can share with their loved ones to let them into their life through the story. It can also be important for such people to be listened to because they will realize their importance and value to another person through this. After all, he or she at least spends their time and energy on them. In this case, the silence of partners can cause resentment because if they don’t talk about what is happening in their life, then perhaps they are not serious enough about the relationship.