18.11.2019
It's no secret that men approach relationships very thoughtfully. Some of them treat long-term dating as putting an end to a carefree life and believe that a happy relationship is over. No more gatherings with friends and going to the movies. The routine will swallow you in its vicious circle. But there is one very pleasant thing in tying your life to another person - if you date the girl of your dreams, who suits you in most respects, your family life will turn into a real holiday, in the atmosphere of which minor family problems will lose their significance.
A man can be happy in a relationship and even aspire to it when he is sure that his spouse is the only person he would like to spend the rest of the life with. A man wants to be with this girl every second, takes on her problems and difficulties, shares her joy, and most importantly, spends joint leisure time. Another question is, "When do you know if she is the right one?" and what to do next.
The first thing we suggest thinking about is your ideal of a spouse. Most men are led by such feminine qualities as thrift, fidelity, femininity/sexuality. Do you have a perfect image in your head?
If you don’t have one, congratulations. You are completely free and open. You have no barriers, and you do not dismiss a good option just because a girl does not have the same hair color as the perfect spouse in your head. If you have such an ideal, then we have only one question for you - are you sure that such a girl exists? A man can have, even if not ideal, an exemplary image of the perfect woman that will accompany him all his life. Such an image may consist of the qualities of a mother, first lover, actress, and so on. No wonder we all have flaws with which we work on and that is what makes us stronger and better. And often, in these shortcomings, people find our feature. Look at your life. Do you have a young lady nearby? How long have you had a relationship?
When was the last time you were not alone? Maybe you cannot meet a worthy lady precisely because you cannot let the perfect image go?
There are so many lonely women seeking men and as soon as you open your heart to them and be just honest about your intentions, the girl that matches you will be as if magically attracted to you.
Stop doubting, act! If you have been dating a girl some time and think she is the one, you already know it. She is exactly the girl with whom you can build your future and spend the rest of your life. She will become your family and the whole world for you. How can you be sure of this? A person can never be 100% sure of anything. However, there are certain signs that this is your person, and you should not let her go.
Deciding whether the girl is the one is always a risk, but in this case, it is worth it because if a girl is beautiful and has a good character, a good heart, a pure soul, then she will take care of you for the rest of your life, and your coupe will be the happiest. To doubt is quite normal. Before you say that someone is your soulmate, you need to think very well. Fate knows better who matches us, and its hints may help you in making a final decision. Try to analyze the next signs on how to know if she is the one:
1. She does not allow her emotions to prevail over her
She always remains calm and knows that her bad mood should not affect you. And her actions are always rational. She will remain discreet and think twice before saying something. She will not show a single sign of mental imbalance, and in the end, it is simply pleasant to be with her, because she creates an atmosphere of calm completely devoid of stress.
2. She can sympathize
She is the girl who knows how to sympathize, and this is a rare case in our time. She has an innate ability to establish close contact with people, and she knows what exactly needs to be said even in the most emotionally difficult situation. She knows how to cope with her own emotions and always understands the emotions of others. One of the ways to know if she is the one you need is to recall the moments when you felt bad and shared your condition with her. If she was there for you and helped by emotionally supporting you in need, then she loves you, and you can devote the rest of your life to her.
3. She is smart
Smart women should not scare you but rather attract. If you date a smart girl - she will always keep you in good shape and will not let you relax because she will stimulate your intelligence like no other. How to determine if she is the one? Your moral and intellectual priorities should coincide, and you should be on the same level. To talk about the topics you are both aware of or share each other's knowledge. But dating a person that is not as smart as you are doomed, and the willingness to do so is not ok. In this case, you only own a toy or a beautiful wrapping you can play with, but there must be something deeper about the girl.
4. She is always trying to get better
And you become a better version of yourself near her. If your girl is always developing and wants to become better - do not let her go because this means that she knows her shortcomings and wants to get rid of them. She is quite patient and understands others.
5. She has a goal, and she works hard to achieve it
If she is the right one for you, she has dreams you respect, and she will not give up on them. She knows very well that to achieve something, she needs to work hard, and she is ready to do it. She will go after her dream to the end because she is such a person. She will always strive for the best and will not put up with mediocrity.
Of course, the moment of realizing that you date your future spouse comes to everyone and requires the following actions. When do you know if she is the right one? For some, it may take years, while others need just a few weeks, especially if you are older and have some experience in dating. But as soon as this thought appeared in your head, you should proceed to some serious steps, if not proposing then at least doing some of the steps described below.
Introduce her to your friends and family. This is also one of the ways to know if she is the right one. Just get her acquainted with your friends and listen to what they tell you, sometimes our closest people can see the details we do not notice because we are crazy in love. So that everything goes without a hitch, you need to create a solid foundation, prepare in advance both your girlfriend and your friends or parents for this fateful meeting.
Remember, when it finally comes to an alive meeting, each side is interested in the absence of awkward pauses. And the less your parents know about your girlfriend, the harder it will be to have a harmonious dialogue. Provide them with some information about the hobbies or recent bright events that happened in the life of your lady, so that your parents can come up with no embarrassing questions.
What kind of conversations should be avoided? We do not say that you need to layout the whole ins and outs of your girlfriend, but if there are sensitive issues that may arise in the conversion and which are best avoided, your parents should be aware of this. Plan your future. When you realize that the person you are dating is the one and that you can rely on them, it gives you confidence, feeling as powerful as never and reassurance that everything will be okay because you have finally found your soulmate. Now you can build common plans and think about what you will do in the long-term perspective, for example, whether you are ready to buy a house together or would like to have a long holiday trip next summer. When you are sure about the girl and her feelings, life gets easier and more pleasant. Now you have a solid base, a foundation you can stick to and know that no matter what happens, there is someone who will support you and keep you back when everything around falls apart. Another important topic is children. When you realize you are ready to build a family, you should discuss how many years you would like it to get bigger.
Be happy with her. How to tell if she is the one? If the girl gets happy when you are happy, cherishes your every achievement and feels relief when your problems get solved, she definitely loves you. The relationship is about ups and downs, sometimes we get stressed because we do not quite understand the person's feelings or intentions related to us. But knowing that the person near you is your perfect soulmate, you become relaxed and can enjoy every moment with them. Now you should do all the craziest things you have ever dreamed about, create memories you will recall the rest of the time and just kiss every time as if it is the last – be together and be happy.
Sometimes we are not quite sure about the person even if it seems that they fit all our preferences and are the perfect candidate. Because your inner gut instinct always feels who is better for you. How do you know if she is the one if all the signs do not work? Here are the questions to ask yourself that will help you with this:
Let’s now take a closer look at each of the three aspects.
Her originality. So, the first step is to determine if there is something special in a person you want to bound yourself to that distinguishes her from other people, makes her one and only. At this stage, you realize why you have fallen in love with this person and why you would never choose to date anyone else instead.
How to recognize those qualities that make her special or even one of a kind? The secret is simple: ask her about what her dreams are, what she likes about you and your common memories as the couple.
Life Values and Goals. You should understand your own life values and goals to make sure that she is a couple for you. First, answer the questions yourself and find out your dreams. Take the time to write down your answers to compare them later. Such a comparison will show your compatibility with each other in the most important thing. Your answers to the questions do not have to match, but they must be comparable. If she wants to have two children, and you want four, then you can find a compromise. But there will be no consent if one of you does not want to have children at all, and the other wants them. You should have a complete similarity of views on vital issues and at least in general terms on minor ones.
Relationship between people. Think about how your girl treats other people. Probably, she will treat you the same way and expect a similar attitude from you. This can show how she will treat your family, whether she will show respect towards your relatives or make you limit communication with them. And it will give an understanding of her view of raising children, if your opinions on that are diametrically the opposite, never expect that she will change. Most of the time, people improve in minor issues, but it is impossible to change their behavior completely. Just find a person with whom your views will coincide more.
We all had a relationship - perhaps more than once. Somehow, we managed to understand that this girl is not the very one, not our person. And if you have already met her, then you are planning to be with her now, until you reach a ripe old age. And she may even have one of these shortcomings - this can be overcome. But if there are several points from this list, you really should think about whether to continue this relationship. Here are signs of how to know if she is the one or not, and they are focused on determining who is definitely not your soulmate for the rest of your life.
1. Her family does not approve of your relationship. Yes, people change, and one day you can win the favor of her relatives. However, if this is a situation when a woman simply hides her relationship from her parents, you have a problem. She is either shy of you or torn between your family and you. And it is most likely that in the end, she will still choose a family: everything is arranged so in our society that a family has been traditionally in the first place for most people. In addition, why do you constantly need to prove something to someone? This is so stressful. Remember you're cool and keep looking.
2. Her ex is still her friend. It's just not normal. She can argue that you allegedly do not understand anything in their relationship and do not turn on the brain, but this is all nonsense. Once there was already an attraction between them, and if they constantly spend time together, disaster is inevitable. Moreover, this is disrespectful to you. The former does not want to just “stay friends” with your girlfriend, and as soon as the opportunity turns up, he will immediately take advantage of it. Friends can love each other, but whoever loved each other can no longer be friends.
3. Jealousy is her middle name. Any girlfriend can get jealous, the scale is important here. If you can’t go to the toilet in a cafe without a scandal, then you should better look for someone else. If you find out that she was reading your texts or knows your phone password when you did not give her it. If you said that you were going to hang out with dudes, and she “accidentally” came to the same bar, you should stop this. And if she is reading this now, looking over your shoulder ... we hope she does not have a knife.
4. She forces you to make a choice between her and the things you love. Healthy relationships mean that you value each other, each other’s preferences and tastes, and have freedom of occupation and hobbies. If you like to go in for sports or play music, if your career or just your friends are very important to you, it is ok. How to know if she is the one or not in this case? If she constantly makes you choose between her and these things, you know what to do. An unbalanced life leads to unhappiness, and if it deprives you of the opportunity to do what you love, one day you will explode.
5. She cheated on her ex. You are not Brad Pitt. So, if she is cheating on her boyfriend with you, it’s not because you are special. This is because her relationship is falling apart, and she is looking for a replacement. When you start dating a girl who has already cheated, this is not a good idea. Then it can ruin your relationship: you will suspect her, or she will do it again. Meeting a good girl is not so difficult as maintaining a healthy and strong relationship for the rest of the time. The hardest work starts when you decide to be together. Are you ready to work on yourself, on relationships, seek compromises, change yourself? How to tell if she is the one?
In relationships, one way or another, conflicts, disputes, disagreement still arise. Even if the ideal person is next to you, you can find a way to solve such issues only with experience. In the meantime, you need to learn, make mistakes, look for the right path and not be afraid of anything. Do you argue? Can't reach a solution? Do you argue all the time? This all makes one doubt whether you made the right choice. Stop. Now is the time to stop and think. Facts, signs, memories, features of your dialogs can come to the rescue.