03.07.2018
Have you ever heard the phrase “Oh, it seems like those two lovebirds have crazy chemistry” or “These actors have a good chemistry together, I ship them so hard”. What is this magical word? How it reflects on peoples’ relationships?
When we talk about chemistry, we see this sparkle, this bond that attracts two mature people who are ready to meet each other’s expectations and know each other better. What about sexual chemistry between two people? Sure, it can base solely only on the desire to have sex and then close the finished chapter, which is very unfortunate, but crap like this happens all the time. That is why it is absolutely necessary to detect true feelings from animal calling. Today we are going to talk about all kinds of chemistry: friendly attraction, sexual tension and signs of true love between two people.
Scientists still think about definite reasons why we get attracted to each other. There are several approaches, which involve biological and physical processes. Let’s find out what scientists and fellow psychologists say about a strong chemistry between two people.
Many or you have heard that the most important part of happiness is good chemistry. And it is useful to know about basic hormones of happiness, which have an integral part in the emergence of this feeling: serotonin, endorphin, oxytocin, and dopamine. Love causes a very active production of these neurochemical substances since it largely determines the survival of our genes in the course of evolution.
Each of the happiness hormones participates in the formation of chemistry. The joys and sorrows of attraction strikingly resemble the effects of dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, endorphin and cortisol on the human body. The production of serotonin is stimulated by your social status or the status of your partner, which is the feeling of security and stability. The production of endorphin is stimulated by physical pain. However, when laughing or crying, a person also feels a strike of endorphin. The production of oxytocin is stimulated by touching. In animals, these two manifestations are often combined together. Monkeys, for example, allow to be touched only by fellow species whom they trust. They know that aggression among their relatives can arise instantly.
Intense chemistry between two people based on the knowledge of psychologists: Can other people see a chemistry between two people? Why can we accurately guess if there is something going on between two co-workers, group mates or just two strangers? It is a true fact: people always know everything from the beginning. It takes a lot of courage and self-explanation to admit that we are attracted to someone. We love second-guessing. We also love wondering if the person feels attraction, even if this fact is quite obvious for the whole Universe. So what makes people magnetize to each other?
1. The feeling of similarity
Have you ever noticed that the happiest couples always look alike as if they were twins? Psychologists claim that overall, people who kind of resemble each other’s appearance live by 12 years longer in a happy relationship. We are not talking about common phrases, inside jokes, the manner of speaking, and the outlook. We are talking about literal resemblance. It always amazes how a child can be an exact copy of two parents who look like siblings.
What is the explanation? Psychologists say that, obviously, people do not transform into each other and merge down with the passage of time. The thing is, we always tend to seek people who subconsciously resemble us, whether it was our childhood copy or the ideal of how we should look like. Overall, we switch our radars and choose people who painfully resemble ourselves, that is why we have similar noses, chins, eyes, bone structure. It might sound selfish, but people think of themselves as an ideal creation, so anything that looks similarly will attract us because we will instantly feel unity - something dear and native. By the way, psychologists and physiognomists claim that perfect people have few chances to find chemistry, because things like plastic surgeries and heavy makeup make us unnatural and ‘alien’ to another person. A certain individual can’t detect anything relatable in our faces, so they switch on to a simpler interface, even if they are far from being perfect. This is why extremely beautiful and polite people often stay alone.
2. Resemblance of family members and first love
Sigmund Freud said that people search for familiar patterns and it’s a fact. Even if a girl’s father was toxic and bossy, she will inevitably find echoes of his terrible attitude in a partner. The same goes for boys who tend to choose choleric and hysterical women who show too much love and affection over moderately loving and nice tender species. If he didn’t see anything different during the childhood, there is no chance a male will miss an opportunity to flirt with a feisty woman at the office.
The chemistry between a man and a woman can arise in a split second. The explanation can be different. A man or a woman might forget about former relationships, but the overall image of a girl or a boy from the childhood never fades away. If you loved a cute girl with freckles who played in a sandpit, this might leave a pleasant path in your heart. And if you meet a European woman in your adult life who has freckles and lies on the beach, this might inevitably trigger past feelings although you may have completely forgotten how the face of your younger days passion looked like. Subconsciousness is an amazing wonder!
3. “I walked with you once upon a dream”
Sigmund Freud was the first to express the idea that we meet only those who already exist in our subconscious. "Finding the object of love ultimately means finding him or her again" - that's how you can formulate the law of mutual attraction between different people. Marcel Proust was referring to the same thing, saying that first, we draw a person in our imagination and only then, we meet him or her in real life. Therefore, a beautiful prince or princess is a person whom we have been waiting for and known for a long time.
How can we understand if two random people have good attraction, for example, the chemistry between friends? You might see each other every day and never realize that you both have this unique spark, this electric tension that charges air around you in the radius of a mile.
1. You have mutual interests Opposites attract. This is a clichéd statement, but the basis of intersexual ties forms when two people have common interests, which they can discuss or do something together. It also proves that they will always enjoy each other’s company like reading their favorite books together or sharing sports.
2. The feeling of intimacy in the crowd. Even when you are in a crowded room, you feel the level of intimacy between the two of you. When you wink or smile during conversations, when your eyes constantly look at each other during small talks, you arise a whole spectrum of emotions, from pure interest to passionate sexual tension.
3. Good chemistry involves respect. Respect goes hand in hand with love. If both people respect each other, this means developing a strong bond and serious intentions.
Signs of chemistry between two people can range, based on the level of their obviousness and strength, but here are some most legit signs that people have a spark:
1. They can’t resist keeping eye contact. People who want to know more about each other will inevitably peep at a face of an interesting person. Sometimes it is absolutely impossible to resist looking at a beautiful face of a man in a small room or a woman, sitting at an opposite table.
2. They can’t resist touching each other. Chemistry involves tactile, not only visual contact. That is why people feel absolute pleasure when they accidentally touch a wrist, a single hair or catch the tiniest bit of fragrance on the collar of a beloved person. If two people touch each other more than twice during the conversation, given that they are not going out yet, it is no accident.
3. They reflect each other’s movements. And this works with any kinds of activity: funny words, attitude, mood. It is determined by nature: in a wild world, species mirror each other in order to be noticed (remember the law of resemblance?).
4. They don’t lie. People who feel true connection have no fear to be funny, ridiculous or weird. If a person acts quite naturally and don’t pose in order to appear better, that is how you know it’s a real deal.
5. They feel the sexual tension. Signs of sexual chemistry between man woman are obvious. If a girl chooses provocative poses to appear curvier and a guy lowers his voice, that is how you know things are about to go down. Sometimes the tension is so strong, you can literally cut the thick air with a thousand degree knife and it will melt. The invisible magnet that attracts both of you makes you go crazy for each other – from surprisingly passionate handshakes to casual sex in the bathroom.
6. They forget about time and space. People who are united by the feeling of ultimate attraction don’t need anyone to remind about the century they live in and the amount of people in the room. Even if you flock with a crowd, two interconnected people always stick to each other and stay for the whole life, because evolution is easier that we thought.
7. They want to see each other constantly. People who have that special spark will seek for a thousand opportunities to see the beloved person. They always appear in the right place at a right time, always ready to lend a helping hand (or even more?)