Here's Why Girls Like and Don't Like Shy Guys

02.04.2018

Modern culture is doomed to cheap theatrical gestures. Look only at all these short-term videoblogs, which reach the top with their invariably primitive, somewhat wild humor. Social networks have changed the person, they have changed the man. We see how people play the ape, showing off their "successes," incomes and even the intellect, in some sense. Everyone digs in their swamp and tries to stand out and become a unique person there. However, this is not due to achievements or hard work but due to already mentioned show-off.

Of course, many admirers will start applauding, they can make you an idol or throw off the stage. Anyway, once, you will understand how empty your life is, and how much expectations do not correspond to reality. It doesn’t matter where this stage is, it can be a professional area of interest, the Internet or a company of friends. The result is always the same. Modern society considers modesty and shyness some sort of rudiment that defines losers or something that graces a woman but not a brutal man who must come forward all the time. However, who said girls do not like modest or shy guys?

Why are some guys shy?

To give a correct answer to the question, “Why are some guys shy?” it’s necessary to start with a definition of this personality trait. So, what is shyness? Shyness is the inability to clearly and openly express oneself and freely declare their interests. Most often, this is due to the "little man" complex, when a person is obsessed with some idea. They can think they create a nuisance to others, have no right to tell about what they are interested in or that their words and their personality, in general, are of no interest to anyone.

What are the reasons for shyness?

Shyness is a character trait, which usually manifests itself in childhood. Shy children communicate and play less with their peers. However, do not confuse shy people with introverts. Introverts do not need much communication, and shy children need it, but they are afraid to start. A man becomes shy when specific upbringing is superimposed on his innate features. Often, people who did not experience comfort communicating with their parents in their childhood suffer from shyness in the adult life. If parents snapped at children reminding that they are small and nobody is interested in listening to them, self-doubt can remain forever. Also, children who didn't feel safe in the family, grow up shy because the whole world seems to them terrible and full of troubles.

Besides, if the child's parents are emotionally stunted and insecure people, there is a high probability that the child will grow up to be just like parents. In this situation, parents, in addition to their desire, give their child an incorrect behavior pattern. In addition, an inadvertently said word or an inappropriate joke can become a trigger for future shyness.

A child's psyche is very vulnerable, and one word can be enough to seriously injure the soul, to cast doubts over their own usefulness and to slow down further development of communication skills. Shyness becomes a constant companion of life, interfering with business, career, and love.

Often, people with low self-esteem as well as perfectionists suffer from shyness. They always make every effort to do everything perfectly, but they are afraid that others will not appreciate their work.

Do girls like shy guys?

Most women tend to come up with a certain ideal of a man, and then involuntarily compare this image with all potential partners. Many women think that an ideal man should be a perfect combination of Prince Charming, Superman and fearless warrior. Often, women do not even realize that men with such traits value themselves and make so high demands on women that it’s very difficult to live with them side by side. Modest and shy men behave differently, and usually, it is much easier and more pleasant to communicate with them. Indeed, shy guys often look not so impressive from the side, they are constantly blushing, embarrassed, stooped, they can say something out of place, or even decide to remain silent in order to attract less attention to themselves.

So, do girls like shy guys? In society, there is an opinion that a shy guy is an unpopular young man. Many men suffer from an inferiority complex due to this stereotype. However, not all girls dream to be with a masculine macho. To please them, men do not need to "break" their own characters and pretend to be someone else. Many women suffer from the fact that they are surrounded by hard-boiled men, and they would like to have a gentle and sensitive boyfriend.

Who wants to have a shy man next to them?

Attempts to pretend to be someone else and to look more decisive can lead to the development of a big number of different complexes. However, this is not the only negative consequence, the very girl will not notice a shy guy in another image, having decided that he is like most of her acquaintances.

Girls do not always like decisive and aggressive guys. Especially, if a shy type of men pretends to be them. It looks at least strange from the outside when he starts a conversation, which immediately gives him brain freeze, then he tells jokes for a long time and laughs nervously, being afraid to make an eye contact. This is what prevents building a new relationship. So, do women like shy guys? Yes, if they don’t act weirdly.

Shy men should better not start a relationship with timid young ladies. Such lovers will break up sooner than they kiss. The modest European girl has got used to active courtships and is not ready to show the feelings first. Therefore, it is important not to pretend but look for your soul mate.

Not all girls like the supporting role. So, answering the question, “Do girls like shy guys?” It is possible to respond that there are also saucy, dominant "Amazons" who like the game of seducing a shy guy. These girls are sure that a shy man can have remarkable personal qualities and achieve in life no less success than an impudent and assertive one. In addition, shy men, who are not spoiled by women's attention, usually appreciate those women who have paid attention to them and value their relationship very much.

Flirting tips for shy guys

Despite all the statements about feminism and equal rights, most women still expect men to send the first message and start a conversation. Usually, appearance is important only during first 10 seconds, further, all the attention is paid to the messages. So, if it’s very difficult for you to write the first message, and you are not aware of any flirting tips for shy guys, don’t be surprised that you stuck in unsuccessful online dating for shy guys. Start looking for a way out and read the following tips.

If you don’t put yourself together and don’t send a message, you will remain a single lonely person on that side of the screen who is only searching for dating sites for shy guys. You should send at least 15 messages a week.

1. Practice on girls you might or even might not ask out, just try flirting a little.
2. Act confidently. If you cannot calm down, drink a glass of wine, but do not overdo.
3. Don’t be afraid to get a refusal. Firstly, it’s also a result and secondly, it is a good ground for self-improvement. Your negative thoughts serve as a date-killer. Set your priorities right. Anyway, you will not get any result until you try.
4. Ask questions and show your interest. There might be a story behind the picture in her profile. You can also share your own stories and talk about common interests.
5. One surefire way to make a woman feel good is to pay her compliments. Find something in her appearance or your chat. Make her feel special.
6. Don’t wait too long to ask her out. Don’t think that shy guys and dating are incompatible conceptions, don’t put yourself in a box.

Dating tips for shy guys

To find a soul mate, shy guys need to show that they feel affection for a girl. Otherwise, the girl will not understand that you are interested in her. It is important to identify your strengths, for example, delicacy, and weak points, for example, nervous laughter, clumsy gestures. Based on these observations, you need to show signs of affection for the girl you’re into, in the form of a half-smile, eye contact, and body language.

Otherwise, the girl, even if she likes you, will choose to avoid you, and the chance to continue communication will be missed. The main dating tips for shy guys will include the following.

• You should learn to make eye contact.
• You should learn to control the manifestations of stress (nervous laugh, shiver, brain freeze).
• You should learn to appreciate your uniqueness.
• You should learn not to pretend.

Women who have strong and powerful character also face challenges in building relationships with men. Therefore, you shouldn’t avoid them, on the contrary, you need to come to the attention of the chosen one. Strong women are interested in shy guys because they are not selfish and not overdo with self-love. Therefore, attempts to mimic your acquaintances, actively boasting about your achievements, will end badly. It is necessary to show sensitivity and ability to listen carefully to the woman. Love is born from trifles. Besides, there are several tips for shy guys of great importance.

Do not avoid emotions. When you feel the butterflies in your stomach, heart beating and blushed cheeks when you meet, do not try to avoid this girl. On the contrary, focus on this person, try to get in touch. Try to get acquainted with this beauty. If you feel that the situation becomes critical when you notice that people are not interested in you, or if you realize that a growing sense of anxiety is about to overcome you, then there is only one way out, you should approach her. Suggest something to drink, find out the name and use one of the topics that usually serve as the icebreakers.

Watch your appearance. It is important to understand that you create the main barrier that prevents you from expressing yourself. You subconsciously try to match a dull status. Look at your gray clothes and scruffy appearance, no one will pay attention to you. It's up to you to overcome yourself and start dressing well. Well does not mean expensive. Nobody asks you to wear a Brioni suit.

Control your self-esteem. Shyness can be a result of a deflated or inflated self-esteem. If it is low, think about your strong sides and remember them all the time. Try to achieve something, for example, successfully fulfill the instructions of the boss or learn how to fold origami. Anything you like. If self-esteem is inflated, remember more often that your shyness is the fear of not being perfect. However, you should not be perfect (by the way, nobody loves perfect ones). Are you scared to come up to the girl? Are you sweating and trembling? Get used to this condition. Over time, these feelings will become familiar and will not bother you anymore.