How to Escape the Friendzone

06.09.2019

How to Escape the Friendzone

Oh, the terror of being friendzoned! We rarely think of it and realize that we are in a friendzone way too late. Why is it that scary, you may ask? Well, just imagine that you were wasting your time on conquering a girl's heart just to learn that she perceives you only as a friend.

It seems that online dating should have helped you with this issue but, nope, everything only got even more frustrating. Even when you use the best european dating site to meet women for dating, you are at the risk of being friendzoned. Regardless of whether you meet real women online or offline, you are risking to be taken as no more than a friend. That’s why you need to learn how to avoid a friendzone. But before figuring out how to escape it, we need to learn the friendzone meaning.

What is a Friendzone and What Are Its Signs?

So, before we try to understand how to avoid and how to get out of the friend zone, we need to realize what we’re dealing with. What is the friendzone definition? Generally, the term “friend zone” refers to the situation when one of the friends starts having feelings for another one. The latter one is unaware of the desires of the first one, which contributes to the fact that the first one is stuck in the friend zone. The term can also be applied to the situations when you want to date someone, but that person doesn’t see you as a partner and offers you a friendship instead.

Although friendship after being rejected is possible, mostly the happy ending in both of the above-mentioned situations is unlikely. That’s why the honest way is to refuse the offered friendship and retreat. But often, the friendzoned person believes that they can turn the situation to their favor. They hope that sooner or later, the object of their desire will see that no one loves and cares for them more than their friendzoned acquaintance. And then they can begin to date. But that rarely happens, and in the end, the very thing you get is a spoiled friendship and the bruised ego.

That’s why the only alternative to retreating is trying to avoid getting in the friendzone from the very start. But the definition of the term is not enough to understand whether you are being friendzoned or not. Those who know how to friendzone someone can easily tell when they are risking to stay just a friend. But to help you avoid wondering, “Am I in the friendzone?” we offer you to check out the main signs of it.

1. You Never Touch

You have no physical contact. You may feel romantic, but if your object of desire is avoiding any physical contact, it is one of the clear signs that you are being friendzoned.

2. You're Their Go-To Friend

You are always there for your romantic interest, and you are always ready to provide them with emotional support. You may think that sooner or later your listening to their another failed romance will pay off, but it never will. If they share such details, you are in the friend zone.

3. You Rarely Go Somewhere Without the Third Wheel

Whenever you are talking about somewhere, they always bring someone with them. There is always one of their friends with you when you go to the movies or to have a drink. Well, that’s an obvious sign that a girl doesn’t want to perceive you more than as a friend.

4. They Try to Help You Find a Partner

One of the most obvious signs of the friendzone is when they try to help you find a partner. They introduce you to their single girlfriends or suggest you get a profile on some dating site.

5. They’re Avoiding Talking about Possible Romance

Most likely, you tried bringing up the topic in conversations with the object of your unrequited love. If they avoid it, it means that they avoid the mere idea of being romantically involved in relationships with you. Yep, you are friendzoned.

Why Do Girls Friendzone Me?

The next step to avoiding the friendzone is figuring why you may get friendzoned in the first place. Unfortunately, there are thousands of different reasons for being friendzoned. It is even harder to outline the main reasons because everything depends on the individuality of your object of desire when it comes to romantic preferences. Still, there are three, more or less, common reasons for being friendzoned.

• You’re Really Not Their Type, But You’re a Good Person

That’s one of the most offensive things that you may hear, “Come on, I love you and you say ‘Let’s be just friends’?!” Yes, "let’s be friends" has become the definition of a broken record in a failed romantic relationship, and quite often we consider it to be nothing more than a lame excuse. You are not their type, but they don’t want to offend you. While mostly it works this way, sometimes it may be true. They like spending time with you, but they don’t want anything romantic from you.

• You’re Doing Something Wrong to Win Their Heart

If you are offended by being friendzoned because they don’t want anything romantic from you, you are missing the point. How about being friendzoned because you are doing something wrong? You know, she liked you from the beginning, but you were a little bit over the top when trying to win her heart, which turned her away. She likes you, but after what you’ve done, she’d rather have you as a friend. Well, that’s the point to be offended...offended with yourself. But this situation is better, as you still have a chance to get out of the friend zone.

• She’s Just Playing. It Happens…

Yes, it is as stupid as it sounds, but sometimes she’s just playing. She may friendzone you simply to get to know you better. Yep, she hadn’t thought that while she’s playing you may lose your interest in her, but she did it anyway. Well, you need to be a telepath to figure that out, but being keen on psychology can help you understand whether you are friendzoned for real or she’s just playfully testing you.

Tips to Avoid a Friendzone from the Very Start

Now we are getting to the most important topic. If you are unlucky enough to get friendzoned from the very start, it means that you are doing something wrong. If this is your case, then you must figure out how to not get friendzoned. So, we offer you to check the tips on how to avoid getting friendzoned from the very beginning.

• Ditch the "Nice Guy" Stereotype

We don't offer you to acquire some “bad guy” persona, but you don’t need to go over the top with being a nice guy. You can be nice to her, and you can be there for her but not at all cost. When you show her that you are always there for her, you may become less interesting to her as a prospective boyfriend. That’s why you need to be careful with being the "best friend" guy, as the quotation marks may simply disappear. Be straight about your desires, as I’ll-be-her-best-friend-and-then-become-her-boyfriend-approach may lead to staying simply the best friend.

• Don’t Fill All of Her Space

When you fall in love and want to prove how much she means to you, you may easily start filling all of her space. You are always there for her. You are calling her twenty times a day. Her messenger explodes because of the number of messages you are sending her. Well, that’s quite okay when you are falling in love, but you are not only at the risk of being friendzoned, you are risking that she’ll be fed up with you. Everyone needs a private space, so there is no need to fill all of her time and space with you. You need to be mysterious to remain an interesting prospective partner, but trying to satisfy her needs, you become needy yourself.

• Don’t Show That You Are Ready to Be a Temporary Boyfriend

Another typical mistake that you may commit is applying for the role of a temporary boyfriend. You were friends, she’s just broken up with her boyfriend, and you think that this is your chance. And you are eager to play the role of a pretend boyfriend. Well, some of the guys succeeded in becoming actual boyfriends after being temporary boyfriends. But it’s a risky thing anyway. When you agree to become a temporary boyfriend, you show that you are not interested in anything more. So, avoid becoming a temporary boyfriend by all cost, as it’s a slippery path from the very start.

• Show Her That Other Women Are Interested in You

Most guys can’t figure out the difference between showing that none interests you except her and showing her that no one is interested in you. While you want to show her your complete devotion, it doesn’t mean that you should hide the fact that other women are still interested in you. When she sees that other women find you attractive, she may get more interested in you. Moreover, it will help you when showing her how important she is for you. She will feel much more valuable when you are interested in her despite all those women attracted to you.

• Ask Her Out on a Date

There is also a risk of being friendzoned when you are acting too carefully. You may easily be wasting your time by trying to be extremely friendly. Of course, you are afraid that you may scare her away, but that shouldn't take that much time. You may stay friends forever, simply because you were too afraid to ask her out on a date. Yes, you are at the risk of losing a prospective girlfriend by being refused, but wasting too much time may lead you to lose both a friend and a prospective partner. Don’t waste your time on being too careful, just ask her out.

• You Are In a Friendzone: How to Escape It?

Now, let’s imagine that you suddenly find yourself in a friendzone. Of course, you feel extremely confused and offended. But there is no time for that. You need to make a choice, either you are okay with that or you opt for walking away, or you are ready to fight for your romance. If you opt for the third variant, then you need to learn how to get out of the friendzone. So, we are offering you to check out the best tips on how to escape the friend zone.

• Stop Making Excuses for Her

She’s friendzoned you because she couldn’t see how great you are. She’s friendzoned you because she was in a wrong mood. She was right when she had friendzoned you because, it’s obvious, you are not good enough for her. Stop finding excuses for her. You need to accept

the situation. She friendzoned you, and if you want to find the reasons for that, do it to figure out how to improve yourself and not to find any excuses for her. We’re not saying that you should be angry at her, but finding excuses equals surrendering. So, simply stop making excuses for her.

• Keep Cool

Well, generally guys find two ways to react on being friendzoned. Either they make excuses for their object of desire or they are getting offended. In both ways, you win nothing and lose everything. If you choose to get escape the friend zone, you need to keep cool. Just accept the situation and start figuring out how to get out of it. What are the actual reasons she has friendzoned you? What can be done about it? You should be busy with finding the answer to that question instead of being offended. Keep cool and find a way to get out of this situation.

• Improve Yourself

If you have got friendzoned, you need to think about how you can improve yourself. Of course, that won’t work if she has friendzoned you because you are a good person but simply not her type. You may try to break yourself to become her type, but the sense of fake will be inevitable in situations like that. But if it’s a "not good enough" case, it’s time for self-improvement. Study something, go to the gym, keep a healthy diet. Do everything that will reinforce that interesting hot and sexy person that you think you are. Of course, only if you truly want to get out of the friendzone.

• Hang Out with Your Friends and Have Fun

Quite often when you get friendzoned, you may start clinging on your object of desire. Remember what we’ve said about not filling all her space with yourself? Well, lead your own life. Go to the parties, hang out with your friends, make new friends. Have fun. This will convince her that you are having an interesting lifestyle, and make her reconsider her initial perception of you. That will improve your probability of getting out of the friendzone while being clingy will only make things worse. No one wants to get that desperate to end up in a relationship with someone who doesn’t have their own life.

• Spend Time with Her Doing Regular Things

Regarding the previous passage, you know that it doesn’t mean that you should ditch her out of your life. You should spend time together, but not all the time. Only when it is comfortable for both of you. What you should do is to spend time together, doing regular things. Forget about dinner with the candles, forget about going to the cinema for some romantic movie. Just go to the beach together, starting with a friendly invite. It is a great idea, as it doesn’t suggest anything romantic, and you will have a great opportunity to show the results of your workout.

• Flirt

The main thing that separates you from being just a friend is that friends don’t flirt. If you are flirting, then you want to be more than just a friend. But, once again, you don’t want to scare her away. So, you should make your flirting less obvious. We can go on explaining how to flirt that way, but if you’ve used the self-improvement tip, you’ve already read enough books to figure that out on your own. You can also try touching her casually, like a friendly hand on the shoulder or a friendly hug. But keep a close eye on her body language. The way she responds may help you figure out whether you are doing everything right or not.

• Friendzone Redemption

Learning everything above-mentioned can easily help you get out of the friendzone. You shouldn’t limit yourself to this article, as there are thousands of other sources on this issue around the web. But you should also mind one thing, being friendzoned is not always bad. Some people are better off being friends rather than lovers. While it is a common belief that friendship between a man and a woman is impossible, we all know that it occurs quite often nowadays. And this type of friendship has a lot of benefits. You get an opportunity to get into a woman’s head and learn the mistakes you must avoid when asking out another lady of your heart on a date. So, before taking any actions, you should make sure whether escaping the friendzone worth it.